The Ten Rules of Beach Week

For Sloane, Rett, Henry, Cam, and Harvin

The Ten Rules of Beach Week, you must understand,

Ensure that your respite is perfectly planned.

To make your adventure both peaceful and grand

Let’s count down—together—each simple command.

Food is the subject of rule number ten.

It’s not complicated, so let us begin.

The cook’s on vacation and we’re left to fend.

If it’s not to your liking it’s best to pretend.

Rule number nine is one you can’t skip.

No one may speak of the end of this trip.

It doesn’t exist ‘til the calendars flip.

If the topic is mentioned, your lips you must zip.

No crying at Beach Week, that’s rule number eight.

Too bad if you learned this a little too late.

Sad things may happen but you’ll have to wait.

Please save all your tears for the unspoken date. 

It’s said that this place is the border of heaven, 

So you might be tempted to sleep ‘til eleven,

But then you’d miss out on the mindfulness leaven.

Savor each moment, that’s rule number seven.

No one gets hurt if you follow this cue.

Rule number six protects me and you.

If your mother needs something, see her point of view.

No one can be happy ‘less she’s happy too.

Rule number five is for those who’ve been bossed

Into worrying over the workdays you’ve lost.

That point of contention was already crossed.

Don’t torment yourself over how much things cost.

Rule number four forbids weather foresight.

You can’t speculate on tomorrow, tonight.

Until the dawn breaks it’s both cloudy and bright.

Like Schrödinger's cat, both predictions are right.

The number three rule is, nevertheless,

The key to a week guaranteed for success.

Be more agreeable, show your largesse.

No matter the question, the answer is yes.

Rule number two is one you can’t bend.

To state it more briefly, you have to attend.

You might be excused for a Tuscan weekend,

If aliens abduct you before they ascend. 

The number one rule — please don’t misconstrue 

Concerns folk who think they know better than you,

Who lecture that idleness we should eschew.

Let no one be telling you what you should do!

These are the rules and you may surmise

They handle most problems before they arise. 

But no rule is perfect and it’s no surprise, 

There’s no rule for fixing how quickly time flies.